Marty Drexler earned his bachelor’s degree in mathematics from Kent State University in 1997. Math nerd by day and aspiring comedian by night, he has taught inner city school mathematics for almost nine years. Please feel welcome to visit Mr. Drexler’s website at drexjokes.webs.com.
For the routine by Marty at the 2010 Annual Banquet, click here.
Confessions of a Movie Fanatic
2010 Winner, JuneOne upon a time in Mexico there lived three amigos, Selena, and the Mexican. One crazy summer, Fletch was vacationing at a summer rental down there (owned by the Godfather) for six days and seven nights. While there, he bumped into his friends Dave and Patch Adams, along with a few good men from his home city of Philadelphia, including Rocky, Michael, and Mrs. Doubtfire. Fletch turns to Dave and says “I knew what you did last summer. You committed a perfect murder with a lethal weapon during the perfect storm with your eyes wide shut. I know because I saw you go inside that Cold Creek Manor. Shortly after that, I heard a scream. That’s when I ran to the phone booth to dial M for murder.” Dave replied “Okay you must’ve been the one who flew over the cuckoo’s nest ‘cause you are sounding a little psycho. Just chill, be cool and let me explain. On Friday the 13th in the summer of 1999 there was an unlawful entry at my neighbor’s house (the Cold Creek Manor). Now on that Friday, the abduction of their twins occurred, during rush hour. A man escaped with the twins but I eliminated the accomplice. I think it was Harry Crumb.” Fletch interrupts “Wait, the professional kidnapper or his accomplice? Who’s Harry Crumb?” “The professional” responds Dave “he demanded a ransom and told me ‘don’t say a word.’ 48 hours came and went, and then another 48 hours and suddenly I realized the day after tomorrow was the day before yesterday. I finally decided to make an executive decision and call one of my legal eagles at the firm. They arranged for a negotiator to be the peacemaker. He gave the professional a two weeks notice, but I had a sixth sense and my neighbors had had enough. Our basic instinct told us to get the twins back and it was simply a time to kill.” Fletch just sipped on his cocktail and said “Well I’m sure that little stroll down memory lane was a walk to remember. But I still know what you did last summer, oh and why the three screams?” Dave replied “Because man, the jerk was hard to kill.”